Here's what you need to know about spending your Saturday night at the finest drag bar in all of greater Toledo:
- Yes, the large group of women is probably a group of all lesbians, even if some of them look a little too lipstick-ish.
- The woman in the Steeler jacket may or may not be a lesbian; lots of women in Steeler jackets just look like that.
- If you're not sure of the gender of the person on the dance floor, look for man hands.
- The bachelorette party may be filled with hot straight women, and you may be the only unattached straight male in the house, but after they explain the "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" motif of their party and all start smoking, you may decide you don't want to take advantage of those proportions, even if you thought you could.
- It's totally not worth it to go just because it happens to be that "bar in Toledo across from the depot."
- But to see friends you don't get to see often enough, worth it.
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