I can only express my feelings about where the Steelers are right now by reprinting a song that was in my head this morning before I even left to watch the game. This song played in 1987 or so on the local morning radio show "Quinn and Banana." (I may tell the story another time of why Jim Quinn called me an asshole on the air 8 years later.)

It is sung to the tune of the "Pennsylvania Polka", better known to many as the Steeler fight song from the '70s. Other than one reference in the second verse (my favorite line, really), it is once again remarkably timely:

We're from the town with the bags on our heads
We cheer the Pittsburgh Steelers
Fumbles and safeties are now what we dread
What's happened to our Steelers?

Franco and Bradshaw are memories at best
At all our tailgate parties
Our ground game is less than stunning
The clock's about all there is that's running.

Awful, offense, double coverage--don't throw it over there!
In-ter-cep-ted, ball gets tipped up high into the air.
De-fense grabs it runs downfield and right across the goal
I can't bear to see what I'm watching on TV
This team is going to the Toilet Bo-o-owl

We are the fans who are filled with remorse
We cheer the Pittsburgh Steelers
Third down and twenty is par for the course
What's happened to our Steelers?

Chuck Noll is building, but we don't know what
I hope it ain't the Maulers
I've been through two six-packs already
Just listening to some of Myron's callers.
(Yoy! And Double Yoy! Garganzola! Get aht!)

Offense, offense, hey where the hell's the offense, we ain't gettin' no respect
Offense, offense, my Terrible Towel's flying at half-mast here, somebody get me another beer
Offense, offense, it ain't the Terrible Towel anymore, it's the terrible team
I can't bear to see what I'm watching on TV
This crowd is going to the Toilet Bowl.

(Sound of Joe banging his head against the wall screaming, "Continental freakin' Tire Bowl?!?!" deleted)