You can throw out the record books when Andre Agassi faces Rainer Schuettler. I thought Schuettler was a no-name journeyman, but then I found out that he once won a Qatar Open. You can find the Qatar Tennis Federation here. Anyone have any thoughts on why men's tennis might be struggling?!?!

My first Kaplan GRE class last night went off without a serious hitch, though it was fraught with minor hitches, most of them related to the fact that it was about 2 degrees outside and snowing. Also, I wasn't planning on the 15-minute logistical course intro from the center manager, so I had to squeeze for time, and as a result I managed to flub the very first problem we did. After that, though, things settled down and I think everything went fine. I have six students, three of whom are international students, so unfortunately my powers of pop culture reference will be effectively neutralized in the classroom. Then on the way home, I felt like James Caan at the end of the real Rollerball as I drove amongst the scattered carnage on interstates 70 and 79. At one point I wasn't even sure if I was looking at the aftermath of a three-car accident or a two-car accident and a distinct one-car accident. Bad times.

I've really gotten to the point with The Onion where I don't read many of the stories and editorials, because a lot of them simply reiterate the joke of the headline a number of times. However I'm glad I read the Muppets editorial this week, if only for the quote: "I am trying to contain my Don Music-like frustration at your arrogance." Those of you who see me in person can count on that dropping into conversation at some point, for better or worse. What I do read every week without fail is The Onion in History. Anyone who has spent substantial time reading 50+ year-old newspapers (i.e. people with advanced degrees in history) would tell you that it is pitch-perfect almost without fail week in, week out. This week's highlight: Lenin's sympathy with "the Russian soldiers who died by the Kaiser's hand in the winter of 1916, many from anus-related injuries."

Finally, one of the things I've done to keep warm is put together a CD of music I associate with L.A., specifically new wave '80s music that received heavy airplay during '80s shows on STAR 98.7, which I listened to frequently. I post the playlist here, knowing the horribly mockery that this might--and by all rights should--subject me to:

• "Goody Two Shoes" by Adam Ant
• "Suddenly Last Summer" by The Motels
• "Major Tom Coming Home" by Peter Schilling
• "A Million Miles Away" by The Plimsouls
• "Anything, Anything" by Dramarama
• "Hold Me Now" by Thompson Twins
• "Wouldn't It Be Good" by Nik Kershaw
• "The Promise" by When In Rome
• "Forever Young" by Alphaville
• "Hungry Like the Wolf" by Duran Duran
• "Opportunities" by Pet Shop Boys
• "Life In a Northern Town" by Dream Academy
• "Let Me Go" by Heaven 17
• "Back on the Chain Gang" by The Pretenders
• "Pretty in Pink" by Psychedelic Furs
• "Lips Like Sugar" by Echo and the Bunnymen
• "Brand New Lover" by Dead or Alive
• "A Little Respect" by Erasure

No, I swear, I'm not gay, no, seriously, stop laughing at me!!