Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Flying Justice Wins 6-33 Moral Victory
ANN ARBOR [AP] [INS]: Flying Justice improved to a moral 3-0 last night, taking a 6-33 tilt from Okayplayers at Mitchell Field. With Earl Riskey's 42-0 win over the Dewey Decimators, Flying Justice is now, like all the other teams, in the flag football IM playoffs.
Team captain Jordan Adler said at a post-game press conference, "I'm real proud of these guys. We achieved moral victory over a tough team that didn't even have all that many girls on it." Adler also emphasized that the team required "fewer than 25 total stitches" as a result of the game.
The team's task was made more difficult by the defection of a number of key players to attend a lecture by noted orgy-enthusiast and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.
Left with just nine players, the team was dealt an insurmountable blow when Kyle Walther went down with observers described as, "Ewww, man, are you all right?" and which was later diagnosed as "a cleat to the face." Following the injury, receiver/safety Dave Alles, in his best Strong Bad voice, described the team as, "DEPLETED!"
Quarterback Tom McNulty hooked up with receiver Dan Cousino for Flying Justice's lone score. He then looked around to make sure no one got the idea from the phrase, "hooked up."
Flying Justice fell to 1-2 in the much less important "actual wins and losses" statistic.
Flying Justice will be preparing for this weekend's playoff game by talking about how much they should really get together and practice, and then reading about contracts instead.

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