I knew that there was a violent, criminal element in my old neighborhood at USC, but I didn't know there were any of this magnitude.

UPDATE: Sportscenter just reported this story, adding: "Police say they don't yet know the cause of the altercation." I'm wondering if they have investigated the LAWRENCE PHILIPS IS CRAZY Theory.

And hey, if you're reading this, Lawrence (OK, let's be honest, having this read to you), I'm just playin'. Seriously, please don't try to kill me.