DEK and I had talked a while back about a revolution in football broadcasting. HDTV apparently allows about 6 tracks of audio along the lines of Spanish-language SAP that is currently available. So we thought one of those channels would be well spent as the "Two guys in a bar" track. Think Statler and Waldorf or Crooooow and Servo, except with beer. And football. The only drawback is that the most common thing to make fun of is the actual commentary, so that might be dicey. But I think it could be made to work.

Along those lines--and in furtherance of the long-time thesis that graduate school ruins you for real life--here are some of things you would've heard over the last several weeks if the "Two former grad students, one of whom is a current law student, sitting in their living room" audio track had been pumping commentary to your TV during recent football games:

1. You know, people didn't really like the halo rule, but what's nice about it is that it was a bright line rule--you either did it or you didn't. There's no judgement call really. You may not like it, but you either did it or you didn't do it. The ref doesn't have to arbitrarily make a decision.
   
2. You know, if you wanted to explain space-time to someone, you could start with the notion of "four-down territory". It's not exactly a time, and it's not exactly a space. It's the conjunction of time and space in a particular way.
   
3. You know, it would be kind of cool if, instead of instant replay, when there was a controversial play you had a hearing and argued both sides. And instead of a written rulebook per se, it could be like common law where you could say that a situation hasn't really come up before, so you would make a decision and it would then be binding. A decision in a playoff game would override a decision in a regular-season game, and a decision in the Super Bowl would trump everything else.
   
4. Do you really want a Super Bowl decided by judicial review?
   

Trust me, it would be better with the beer...