If you haven't done so already, I implore you to watch the end of Flavor of Love on VH1. Here's the schedule. All you really need to catch is the Episode 9 recap show, but do yourself a favor and watch the pivotal Episode 8. One of the final three (OK, I'll go ahead and say it--final two) contestants is "New York" (everyone's got a stupid pseudonym), and she is one of the great reality TV characters ever, for the simple reason that she is absolutely 100% bat-shit crazy. I swear to god the producers must've told Flav to keep her around because she's so nuts. OTOH her mother is absolutely no-nonsense, and the interaction between the two in Episode 8 is off the charts. It's basically New York saying things like "But I love him," and "We're totally soulmates," and Mama New York saying things like, "Does he dress like that all the time?", "I forbid you to love him," and "He hasn't actually touched you has he?" Priceless.

New York might not have made it through Episode 8, but "Pum'kin"'s mother blew her daughter's cover. Apparently in an earlier episode some girls had been sitting around talking about all the reality and dating shows they had been on, or had tried to be on, and Flav was bugged by this because it shows the girls are more about TV than they are about gettin' their Flav on. Pum'kin had participated in the "out"ing of those girls. Flashforward to Pum'kin's mom telling Flav, "This isn't the first time she's done something like this."

This led to my single favorite reality TV personal interview quote of all time, as Pum'kin presented her side of the story:

It's not like I'm trying to get on TV. I've only been on four game shows, Blind Date, some talk show and then this.

Folks, if that doesn't pique your interest, I don't know what else I can say.

P.S.: I'm super-excited that I finally made it through a post this week without saying fuck. Oh wait. Shit!