I know some people must wonder what it's like living in LA, being that it's LA and all. The answer is that 95% of the time it's just like living anywhere else--maybe a little smoggier, trafficky-er, and crowded-er (yeah i know, not words), but with slight variations you get up, maybe go to the gym, go to work, come home, watch the tube, and do it all again tomorrow. Just like anywhere.

Then some quiet Sunday afternoon your itinerant friend calls you from the West Hollywood apartment of his friend who is Madonna's personal hairdresser and asks you if you want to drive up to Canyon Country to watch the Laker game with his sister and her lesbian partner, and you say "sure" and wait for him to (he thinks) surreptiously do a quick line and then you get out on the road and you hope he doesn't go berserk and drive off the road, and you get there and are very nice to the lesbians even though they give you a Dallas Cowboys glass to drink out of, and you keep to yourself the fact that you are rooting against the Lakers because they fed you 4 separate food items in a meal which is at least 2.5 more than you average when you prepare your own dinner, and also because even though they're very nice something in our culture tells you that you just don't want to piss off lesbians, and then you end up driving home to Art Bell on the radio for some reason and get home just in time to hear Jenna Lewis be more fun in the half-hour of Loveline you hear than she was the whole Survivor series combined.

Yeah, sometimes it's like that.