Five conditional things I've learned 48 hours into law school:

1. If you're chasing a fox, you'd better kill the damn thing or some jerk will come along and shoot it instead. (or in haiku form here)
2. If you drop your laptop bag (w/laptop inside) in such a way that you catch the strap at the last minute but much of the impact still lands firmly on your left second toe, you will truly learn about all the colors in the rainbow (because your toe will turn them).
3. If everybody's nervous enough, you can actually go 15 minutes in a class discussion without bringing up race in discussing this case.
4. If you make a joke that simultaneously requires recent exposure to ancient contracts law and chronic overexposure to NFL Films, it is possible some people won't get it. ("What we need is a seal here and a seal here.")
5. If you can get through the reading, it will be OK.