Sunday, February 20, 2005

The Lawyers Club cafeteria is pretty good as far as institutional food goes, and in general I have no complaints. It can be, however, quirky. My favorite quirk is the propensity to try to make foods by adding unnecessary adjectives. When it comes to descriptors, the most ridiculous by leaps and bounds is "savory" tofu. Tofu may be many, many, many things; tofu is not, no matter how you slice it, savory.

Generally, though, the vestigial adjective is not a descriptor per se, but rather an apparently random geographic/ethnic qualifier, perhaps supposed to make our fare seem way more exotic than it is. Chicken noodle soup, boring; Pennsylvania Dutch chicken noodle soup, exotic. The worst offender, though, is a particular grouping of mixed vegetables that comes up from time to time. It consists of green beans, zucchini, and one or two other equally non-exotic vegetables. What do we call this delight? Scandanavian Blend. Add in some yellow squash and it magically morphs into Key West Blend. Perhaps the zucchini is particuarly evocative of Oslo and the yellow squash sets off one's gaydar, or perhaps the lesson is the whole human family is basically stuck with the same humdrum veggies.

Why did I think of posting this tonight? Probably because (as explained elsewhere) this has been the official year of wintry mix, which tonight translated into something between sleet and an icestorm this evening flowing straight out of the 6 inches of snow that fell all day. Wintry mix would be a tremendous overly flowery name for a really boring collection of mixed vegetables. Mostly, I would just like it if vegetables were the only mix I had to deal with for the rest of the winter.

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