Tuesday, February 21, 2006

At 2:30 a.m. I said what I thought was one of the most wickedly clever things I'd ever said in my life, but it may just have been the fact that it was 2:30 a.m. and the PBRs.

Let me back up.

Periodically I've been going to Monday night trivia with Anne, who our quiz-bowl readers will know as being of Mike Keenan Employment Agency fame. These trivia nights are fun because Anne has a cool group of townie friends who I've gotten to know a little, because it's a nice evening away from all things law, and because we often end up making money on the deal. Last night we went, and when it ended around 11:30, Mark, Tyler, and I were interested in moving on to karaoke at nearby bar Circus Circus, but Anne had to go home. So for possibly the first time since I've been here, I went out in a group that included 0 law students or quiz-bowlers.

Tyler had insisted that he was only in for two beers (specifically, the 55 cent Pabst Blue Ribbons), and he was true to his word. Mark had promised me a ride home, but it was contingent on staying until closing time, and I agreed. I didn't know a soul at the bar, but Mark clearly had a bunch of friends or at least acquaintances there. Among the more interesting ones was the dude who had clearly cultivated the Kip Dynamite look, and whose overwhelming sense of irony led him to sing Steve Winwood's "Higher Love." Also, I met the first two African-American fans of Weezer I've ever encountered (or at least fans of Mark's admittedly kick-ass version of "Say It Ain't So"), including Monique, who at some point got really pissed off about I-don't-know-what and started crying, yelling, and accidentally knocking over a bar stool onto my foot, hard. Actually, it was more like knocking over a bar stool hard, accidentally onto my foot.

Mark and I got our first songs in pretty early (mine was "Mr. Brightside"--mediocre results) and decided to put in a second. I chose "Boyz in the Hood" (Dynamite Hack version) and Mark was super-excited to find "Sodomy" from the musical "Hair," saying he always wanted to be Woof. I got called up right at the end of the night (again, not a hit--I was judging the room badly), but Mark never got back on, even though he got his second slip in well before me.

The other important character was quite a character, but I didn't catch his name so let's call him Dave. "Dave" informed me at one point that his father was in the NSA, and after asking me a rapid-fire series of surprisingly personal questions, he told me I'll make a good lawyer because I look to the left when I tell the truth. (I don't know what it means either.) He also informed me that he thinks Mark is "gorgeous" and that he's wanted him for the 10 months he's known him, and that Mark just needs to open himself up to new things. He also asked if I was married (no) or liked girls (emphatic yes), and seemed confused not just by my second answer, but that anyone would give such a silly answer. Dave's chief concern, though, in cornering me was to let me know that Mark was also giving him a ride home, and that I was supposed to conspire to make sure I was dropped off first, which was perfectly fine with me.

So at closing time, Mark, Dave, Monique, and I walk back to Mark's car at the first bar. Monique calls shotgun, so Dave and I end up in back. Luckily, the law quad was the logical first stop, so no conspiring was necessary. Conversation focuses on the singers, and on Mark's failure to get a second song even though I did, and even though he's the much better singer.

Five minutes later, I'm being dropped off, my townie adventure coming to a close. As I climb out of the back seat, I say to Mark, "Thanks, Mark. I hope you get to do 'Sodomy' real soon." And in a flash of inspiration, I turn to Dave say, "Hey, you too, man."

With Mark and Monique looking vaguely confused and Dave still soaking that one in, I turned toward my door, and as they pulled away I started laughing like a moronic hyena...

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